Sam’s

During a half an hour gap while waiting for patients to arrive, the practice nurse decided to perform a spirometry test (a test performed to assess a person’s lung function) on me after I cleverly initiated a question asking her if she could teach me on how to operate the machine. I should have lied to her that I am 28 years old but I did not. However I did warn her that I am almost incapable of performing such “strenuous” test. As she convinced me that it was only for demonstrative purposes, I consented to becoming her patient for the next half an hour.

After giving long, detailed and precise instructions, I proceeded to blowing into that little mouthpiece connected to the machine. The practice nurse gave me an impression that she was partly puzzled, as though her instructions weren’t clear enough. She asked me to try again, and again, and again. I was sure I blew out the air twice my lung volume but she was still convinced it was probably due to technical problems. People here are kind you see, they never believed you have flaws until they have tried a million times to finally convince themselves.

Either I turned cyanosed or pallor that she finally said the test was over.

But I think she just gave up, because the print-out of my spirometry result said, “Lung function of 32 years of age.”

Another year has gone by. The goals that I have set and been working towards finally seem surreally near. I could finally start to feel and focus on what is in my near future, although the distant future still seems blur.

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Happy 2010!

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Wonder why the largest sale is always at the end of the year? Guess it just serves to lift people’s mood during the gloomest of winter season. And it always does. Who would resist a 40% sale from Burberry where a 600 pounds trench goes down to just 360 pounds. Ahh. It is so heavenly!

Follow this link http://uk.burberry.com/fcp/departmenthome/dept/sale to reward yourself after a year of hard work (that is if you have really worked hard) and to welcome a new year ahead.

Time waits for no man. Whether you’re having the best time of your life, or you’re mourning or drowned in sadness, time will roll them to the past.

When they get rolled so behind in your memory, you feel that those memories appear to be more and more vague and difficult to be retrieved. They need a strong power of concentration and a significant amount of time to be able to be retrieved into your current memory again.

It is scary. It is scary when memories you are most fond of seem like they are slipping off your memory. When time passes and more contents of your lives are saved into your short term memory, what seemed to be stored always in your long term memory felt like they are diminishing and slowly vanishing. They are being pushed further and further behind. Without fail, you try regularly running through your mind the whole series of events again just to refresh your memory. But somehow, a little still managed to escape.

I fear. I fear when I failed to retrieve certain minute details. I panicked, my heart screaming to cry out. I have never failed to do my homework. I run them through regularly to make sure nothing slips my mind, despite only having bits and pieces here and there. Blurry and lack of colours as they are, I always still managed to feel them again.

However, at that particular moment of time, I failed. They refused to come to my mind. The chronology of the events were disturbed by empty black screen-shots that cropped in from time to time. I tried harder, and harder, and harder, but my mind was just overseeing vast emptiness.

People put sweet or bitter memories behind, because they move on. They move on to create new memories to be stored. But I refuse. I refuse to forget what seemed to be in the very past,

….because those are my fondest memories.

A year has gone past again. It is again the time of the year to board the plane not back home but to somewhere for a short getaway. Four days were more than enough to spend in this beautiful little city called Dublin.

It was the best decision we had made to crash at a hotel right at the centre of the city. Besides offering convenience accessing the attraction places, we managed to save our wallet some bucks from transportation.

It is a really beautiful city, I should say. The pictures below say it all.

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Just a little note, shopping in Dublin is expensive.

Many people come and go from our lives,

very few stay and leave footprints on our heart,

and we are never the same again.

These people are those we never knew

could make a difference to our lives.

They just came,

and *POOFF*

Our lives change forever.

In a blink of an eye, another seven weeks just flown by. My A&E rotation has come to an end, which means Christmas holiday is approaching. *Hurray!*

Like I have mentioned before, A&E has been a pretty pleasant rotation throughout, except for the fact that I almost threw up on the day I was attached with the ambulance. Weekend and night shifts weren’t as bad as I thought they would be, although time seems to crawl during those moments. Overall, I’m happy, honestly.

Even happier when I think of what is ahead (not exactly one month ahead when term starts again, but rather in the next one to two weeks). I do miss home and have spent ample time recently thinking of my loved ones at home, but I have chosen to sacrifice going home for the sake of Dublin and London. You know what happens if my bank account goes empty by New Year.

So in case I am too busy or lazy to write, I would like to wish all of you in advance, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Check out the latest Chanel Cruise 2009/10 handbags.

Chanel quilted flap bag in tweed, leather-interlaced chain and CC turn lock

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Classical Flap bag in quilted lambskin with CC turn lock and leather-interlaced chain (key ring sold separately)

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Flap bag in patent calfskin with Paris Venise lions CC signature, leather-interlaced chain

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Small patent calfskin shopper with a large CHANEL embedded signature and leather-interlaced chain

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Quilted camera case in lambskin. Stitched signature. Gros grain piping and interlaced chain

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Classical quilted flap bag in striped lycra CC clasp and interlaced chain with shoulder pad

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Tote bag in fabric and lambskin details CC metallic pendant and leather-interlaced chain

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Large tote bag in fabric with leather-interlaced chain, large gros grain stripes and CC handle

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Large shopper bag in soft quilted lambskin

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Small tote bag in soft quilted lambskin

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Quilted bowling bag in soft lambskin

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Visit www.chanel.com

If you are given a chance to change your appearance, but only on ONE part of your body, which would you choose? What would you change? Would you change anything at all?

Let’s be realistic. No one is this world is really satisfied and 100% contented with what they are given. Given a chance to change something? Most of us would take up that golden opportunity.

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And I too, had decided to make a change.

It has been more than a month and things have been going well and as planned. Do stay tuned to read about the whole process in more detail if I ever find myself time and patience to write.

You understand,

you hide,

you anonymise,

you choose to be silent,

you want to be thoughtful,

you want to be sensitive,

because you care.

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And if you care,

you’ve got to respect and protect.

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When you have only 70 years to live (if you’re lucky), who says your happiness should be what the society defines for you.

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Burberry has recently stimulated even more my already growing interests in the brand, by coming up with these snowy white trenches and jackets. They are just so classy. With the current rainy season it may seem impractical to dress up in white for obvious reasons but *sob sob*, can I buy them and wait till the weather is good or maybe spring next year or even next winter? I just can’t take my eyes off them!

Visit www.burberry.com

Someone once told me
that you have to choose
what you win or lose
you cant have everything
Don’t you take chances
you might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by so unhappy but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me
so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yea

Holding on tightly
just cant let it go
just tryna play my roll
slowly diasappear, oooh
well all these tears
they feel like theyre the same
just different faces, different names
get me outta here
well I can stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by pass me by

So what if it hurts me
so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain in front of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy
oooh

So any turns that I cant see
ill count a stranger on this road
but don’t say victim
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me
so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
cause I’m just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy

I spent 20 minutes taking history and chatting with a patient in his 70s who gave me an impression that he was frail, ill, anxious and couldn’t wait to go home. He looked helpless, as though feeling sorry for himself. “Just do anything you want on me, love” was what he told me which disturbed me emotionally. I felt really sorry for him. After taking bloods off him, he asked me how long it would take before the result would be out. I told him it might take a couple of hours and I still need to come back to insert a catheter to relieve his urinary retention.

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Patient: How long would it take for you to come back again?

Me: Erm, probably 5-10 minutes?

Patient: Oh, that’s alright then.

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Due to unavoidable circumstances, I turned up in his cubicle about 30 minutes later apologizing for making him wait. He was cannulated by a senior colleague and at the same time I tried to insert a catheter which he was very anxious about. I assured him I would try my best not to cause him pain and the procedure took ages and finally it was completed with the help of my colleague. Bright red urine immediately drained from his bladder into the bag, relieving his pain and discomfort almost immediately. I left him for a moment before coming back to do a digital rectal examination just to feel for any enlarged prostate which might cause his urinary retention.

When I finally finished, I stayed with him and explained to him that we might need to admit him for further investigations. He looked puzzled. I could see it in his eyes. Those eyes so kind and weary. But I could feel he was silently calling for help. I reassured him for 5 minutes on why I have done the things I have done on him, trying to reason out with him so he could understand why we were sticking foreign objects into him. He nodded as though he understood, but deep down I knew he just agreed because he felt helpless. Just before I left the room, he broke the silence.

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Patient: So you’re qualified next year, aren’t you? *smile*

Me: Yes, I am. Just can’t wait. *grin*

Patient: That’s really good. Are you enjoying what you’re doing?

Me: Yea, very. *BIG GRIN*

Patient: Why did you choose to do this? *looking at me with his weary eyes*

Me: Because I want to help people, and I feel happy when I get to do that.

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I was going to cry. I don’t know why that moment felt so emotional. He painted a kind smile. Looking grateful, he then said,

“Thank you, love. Thank you.”

For someone with a petite figure like mine, it is always a good idea to apply tricks in the way we dress just to look taller, in other words create an optic illusion.

So, how to dress to look taller? First and foremost, the most important and obvious of all are certainly shoes. High heels or platforms give an instant increment to height and boost a woman’s self-confidence. The colour of the shoes should preferably match the colour of the pants so to create an illusion of length.

For pants, straight cut pants are probably the best to create an impression of longer legs as compared to skinny jeans which we think would make us look more skinny and taller. Also, to look taller, skirts should be short to show off more leg.

Continuing up the body, shirts or tops with vertical stripes elongate the torso. Dangling earrings could sometimes help too. As far as hair is concerned, shorter is better, just so to create a smaller head image and maximise the surface area exposed below the neck.

Many people find that a monochromatic look works very well for them. This means choosing one color, especially a darker one, to wear for top and bottom. The human eye interprets a monochromatic outfit as a single unit, and this tricks the mind into believing the person is taller.

Last but not least, always avoid baggy clothes. Clothes should be fitted and sleek to create a lean look.

So, why not try some of these techniques today and admire the results!

I know they are just a piece of cloth, or leather, or fabric sewn together,

I know they are just merely made up of a compartment or two, nothing better,

most of the time they just put extra weight on your shoulder,

But somehow only with it you will look nicer,

and they are heavenly to almost every girl, if not all.

Ahhh, bags, they always make me smile.

I enjoy indulging in silence,

a silence of emptiness, a silence of nothingness,

Silence to me is close to heaven,

it is what that rests the mind, and tames the soul,

Silence, is also a gift from God,

‘cos silence means peace.

2009 is almost coming to an end. Time flies, doesn’t it? At this time every year, people start making lists, at least mental lists, of what they have achieved throughout the year, what they have not, and what they plan to achieve the following year.

I believe my biggest achievement of 2009 was passing my medical final exam. I couldn’t think of any other bigger and more gratifying accomplishment than that. I know I have mentioned before previously, but it is worth mentally celebrating it again from time to time.

The down side of 2009, well, it made me nothing short of two dozens years of age. I am still a student with no financial income. Monthly accounts always sum up to negative. Most of my 2009 new year’s resolution did not work out. *sigh*

So have you thought of how you are going to celebrate the coming new decade? What about your new year’s resolution? Let’s hear them!

Accident and Emergency Department was not where I would love to work in. The thought of ambulance siren and patients being pushed in with half a dozen of health-care workers surrounding them, holding all sorts of medical equipments, getting ready to lay their hands on the poor patients made me feel like steering half a mile away.

Just about a week ago, I felt like I had no choice but to end up witnessing all these for the next 7 weeks. I was not sure if my body could cope with all the adrenaline rush because whenever it happens, my brain tends not to work properly. After staring into my copy of timetable, I concluded that these 7 weeks would be all tied down to just A&E. Besides the usual early and late shifts, clinics, teachings etc, I have got 2 weekend shifts where I have to work all day on my precious Saturday and Sunday, and 2 night shifts from 7pm to 7am when I am supposed to be savouring my plate of dinner, watching television and enjoying my very important sleep!

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*It sounded like I could not go any further*

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One week into it and I got to say that I actually quite enjoyed it, surprisingly. It is just a strange feeling of getting to do something useful and productive that contributed to that little tinge of joy.

I should wait another 6 weeks before I fix a conclusion. Who knows what might happen.

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By the way, Happy Halloween everyone!